The Last Decade

Dear Faithful Readers,
are there actually any of you left? I thought, its 2010 and I haven’t written in awhile. So I thought I’d give a brief recap of the last decade, what I did, who I did it with and so on and so forth. Since nothing is really new in my life... except a few weeks ago I made out with a hot french man. Hell yes!!!!!!
Anyway.
The Last Decade...

2000:
I believe I was in year 5. And I had Ms Gowdy as my teacher. My best friend was Jessie Bestwick. She was kind of a "bad girl" I guess. She dressed like a guy and swore a lot. But she was awesome.
Something Stupid I Did: I managed to get myself into the middle of a girl fight, and then we were writing letters. Jessie’s and Emma’s swore a lot, but, being the nice 10 year old I was, I didn’t swear. Anyway. We got caught, and I got dragged into the whole thing and then we got 3 weeks detention. All my letter said was "I know the girls don’t like Melissa so much, but I don’t" and then we were caught.
Honestly. St. Marys is shit. I think Ms Gowdy left after that, but not before ruining the year 5/6 excursion for everyone by moving it from going to Brisbane and being awesome to going to Canberra and being shit and cold.
Something Not Stupid I Did: I think everything I did when I was 10 was pretty stupid. Sorry to disappoint. No! WAIT! In 2000 I did TWO music exams (piano and violin) and I’m pretty sure I got A's for both of them. No I didn’t. I got an A in violin and a B+ in piano. That was the last year I was allowed to do 2 exams because B+'s are not acceptable to my piano teacher. And mum decided it was too stressful for a kid to be doing 2 exams a year.

2001:
My best friend was Amy Burton and we were pretty inseparable. I started properly liking boys, but was too shy to do anything. I got a Nike bag and it was stolen off the bag rack. I discovered the miracle that are sour cream and onion chips. Sam Gill had a crush on me. I liked lots of different types of music. I tried to keep a diary, and Ringo died. :(
Something Stupid I Did: I may as well admit it to you all now; I flirted with Sam Gill for a year and then freaked out when his friends told me he liked me and wanted to date me because he wasn’t very attractive. So really, at age 11, I played my first guy. Well done. I just realised now when my hussiness started. Anyway so his friends forced an "ok" out of me and then everyone thought we were dating but I didn’t want to date him so my way of dealing with it was to pretend I didn’t know what they were talking about. So the next day when Jessie asked me if Sam and I were boyfriend and girlfriend, I laughed and said, no. I wouldn’t date Sam. he's my friend. In front of Sam.
Something Not Stupid I Did: I’m pretty sure I was elected SRC in term 3 of year 6. It was the second time I was elected SRC. So that was pretty sick of me. Pretty not stupid. I don’t think I actually DID anything, but it still happened.

2002:
So it was my first year of high school. I had no boobs, frizzy hair, crooked teeth and an annoying voice. My best friend went to a different high school and I became a bit weird and quiet because I wasn’t sure how to act without her around since she was like my other half back then. Jasmine was my other close friend and she used to tease me for being flat chested. (ha). E.L got preggers and I guessed it (I still don’t know how 12 year old me knew she was preggers) and then she got an abortion. I was terrible at art and good at Music.
Something Stupid I Did: I tried way too hard in year 7. I wanted to be really grown up when the fact was I hadn’t hit puberty and looked 9. But the stupidest thing I did was think that it was OK to wear jeans and joggers. Honestly. There are a million photos of me with this look and I don’t know why I thought it was ok to dress like this. JEANS AND JOGGERS DO NOT GO TOGETHER!
Something Not Stupid I Did: I was so ahead in music that the teacher had me doing year 8 music. I had an average test score of 99%. I was good. I topped year 8 music in year 7. Then I got a teacher who didn’t like me and it allll went downhill from there.

2003:
I was 13 and all my friends had boobs. Jasmine got her first boyfriend. I broke them up because he started liking me. I first developed my hatred towards joggers and refused to wear them. Instead I wore skate shoes everywhere I used to wear joggers. To PE. With jeans. Even when I played hockey. I threw out my joggers and skate shoes were all I wore. My favourite look was wearing a short denim miniskirt with the skate shoes (I still own the skirt and wear it. not true for the skate shoes). My brother was 18 and constantly had drunk friends over at our house. I wasn’t allowed to do anything and was annoyed that mark could do whatever he wanted.
Something Stupid I Did: pretty much anything to do with fashion did not exist in my mind. Sure, I THOUGHT I looked cool but now I look back and think, what the fuck was I thinking? Why did I think it was appropriate to wear a midriff cat in the hat halter (tho that shirt was fucking awesome)? I thought it was cool to put my hair into high and tight ponytails when it really just accentuated the fact that I have a massive forehead. I had yet to discover how to put on makeup and look terrible in every single photo. I liked to wear clothes that matched a little too much. I wore the same turtleneck jumper with brown cords everywhere in winter (with skate shoes). I was a fashion retard.
Something Not Stupid I Did: I quit piano. It made me miserable. Good work on that one, little lady (ps I’m talking to myself here). I remember the day I quit. For a while I had been making excuses not to go and mum was like you’re an idiot, you didn’t suddenly get the flu. And then one day I had enough. my piano teacher made me feel like shit every week and used to tell me I was her "worst student" (I think she meant in terms of practising. something I didn’t believe in) and then I spent ages learning to play 1000 miles, which took me quite a bit because ok? That song is hard. And I was 13. and then she told me I wasn’t allowed to play it at the final concert, but she had only taught me that and this shitty gay I don’t even remember what song it was it was so crap STUDY (BTW for all you non-musical people (i.e. anyone with a brain) a study is just a song that isn’t meant for any meaning other than its supposed to improve your technicality of the instrument you are studying so, for piano, it’s pretty much just scales and shit and teaching your fingers to move faster and whatnot. in other words its gay and boring) so I was going to have to play that, and I’m sorry but I spent fucking ages learning 1000 miles to the point where I actually practised playing it. Yeh. I practised! And she told me I couldn’t play it. So then it was nearly time for piano and mum was like, ok you better start getting ready for piano. And I was like, I’m not going to piano today. And mum was like, why not? You aren’t sick... and I was like, no I’m not sick. I just don’t want to go (for the record, that’s probably the most honest thing I’ve ever said to my mum ever... not that I lie but I mean, she paid a lot for piano and I didn’t want to disappoint her..) and I guess mum had had enough of me always trying to get out of it because she was like, do you just not want to go today, or ever? And I was like, I don’t want to do it anymore. So she called my teacher and told her I wasn’t going back. My mum is awesome.

2004:
ah. What a fun year. Not. I still had no boobs and I was 14 and it was a horrible time for me. People made fun of me for having no boobs (WELL! I showed THEM!) And jasmine was still being your typical slut and having a steady stream of boyfriends. Which I personally did not get. Because jasmine was not that pretty and she was also fat. Now. I may not be the prettiest thing on the planet, however the thing I DID have going for me back then was the fact that I had not yet hit puberty and therefore still had my skinny little emancipated body. The year was pretty shit and non-eventful. I don’t even remember anything I really did this year. I’ll try... OH! I do remember one thing I did! I got braces! Yessss!!!
Something Stupid I Did: I’m going to stick with the whole fashion thing again. Seriously. I look back on this time with shame.
Something not stupid I did: I believe I may have written some great essay or something that showed great potential (too bad I ruined it by not doing any work for the next 3 years.)

2005:
Finally, after years of torment with my goddamn teeth they were starting to go straight. I was overjoyed. I was 15 and still hadn’t been kissed but so what? My teeth were getting straight and I was getting hotter by the second. this is also the year I got massive knockers and rumours went around that I was stuffing my bra until the swimming carnival where I sadly discovered none of my old clothes fit my b cup boobs anymore and Keryn called me a slut (although what kind of slut has never been kissed? nice logic, Keryn) and Chelsea decked her. so then I had to get new clothes and, amazingly, a new bikini even tho I bought one at the start of summer in 2004 (yeh, I was the type of girl that celebrated the start of summer by getting a new bikini.) and I still have that bikini (it doesn’t fit as nicely anymore thanks to my porn star breasts). Then by the end of the year I believe I was a D cup (a cup a term pretty much) and my boobs had reached epic proportions. Oh I also got a job.
Something Stupid I Did: took my shirt off at the end of year pool party. Honestly, I knew I should have kept my top on. A 16 year old with massive boobs should not actually be allowed near public pools, and if they do go near them, there should be a law saying "bikinis not allowed. Keep your dang shirt on, you future porn star" but there wasn’t and Chelsea told me it wasn’t a big deal because everyone was just in their bikinis. However, EVERYONE but me had small boobs. the only good thing that came out of it was the fact that people realised I didn’t suddenly get fat that year, my boobs just got big so everything looked out of proportion on me. How do porn stars do it?! Oh yeah. They don’t WEAR any clothes, so nothing looks big on them (I’m looking at YOU, Carmen Electra. wtf was with that dress on New Years Eve? I don’t care if you were in fucking Vegas, it’s the middle of winter, and it gets cold in the desert too!)
Something Not Stupid I Did: I started working at Coles (this could be argued as a stupid move tho...). However, I did start making my own money AND being the genius I am, I managed to get my parents to still give me pocket money. So I was earning AND getting $80 a week from mummy and daddy. Yeh, I know I’m spoilt, but I can admit it, and I feel this makes it ok. ANOTHER thing I did was I quit the youth orchestra, thus getting further away from the nerdy white girl image I had going on. AND I found $500 in my blazer pocket but that’s a whole other story that I’m not getting into.

2006:
what kind of 16 year old has not been kissed? It’s not like I was still ugly at this stage.. I had braces and I was in year 11 and my hair was nice and long and I finally learnt how to put makeup on and my boobs had reached epic proportions but still, no kiss for me. At this stage my obsession with f had also reached epic proportions, something that I’m not proud of. I was fighting with J more frequently and we got a new group at school. Mr. w was still my fucking music teacher and I was failing, even tho for the past 3 years I’d been number 1 in the class. All in all, 2006 was not the best year for me.
Something Stupid I Did: Did my deb ball with Jacob. What a fucking wanker. I mean seriously, he nearly made me cry ON THE NIGHT OF THE BALL!! I mean, I was literally waiting outside the hall to be introduced as a woman, and I’m fighting back tears. (To add further insult to the situation, my so called "best friend" of the time still associates with him. I think if someone makes your friend cry on the night of her deb ball, you stop hanging out with them). He also so I was only ok when I was wearing low-cut shirts. This is why I hate boys. He was supposed to be really Christian but he was still a filthy perve. I mean honestly. Way to wreck a night, Jacob. The night will always and forever be a horrible memory for me, which is a shame because I looked hot, since I’d just gotten my braces off and taught myself how to smile.
Something Not Stupid I Did: I went to America for the first time. How exciting. at first it kind of sucked because everyone except for Elle went with a friend and I was kinda by myself and I got really sick but you know, I ended up having the best time and it’s a happy memory for me. plus it’s when me and Naisy reconnected as best friends for life (what we used to call each other when I was 7 and she was 5) and I finally worked out how shit my old school friends were (hence why after year 12 I ditched them). Good times. OH and I got my p plates. some of you may argue that this was a stupid move given my driving record, but to those of you who say that I say "fuck you" because I will admit that I’m not the BEST driver, but I’m not the worst and those 2 crashes were ACCIDENTS and technically speaking when I had then I didn’t do anything TECHNICALLY wrong except for the part where I crashed. Anyway. I also started year 12, which was smart, because it was FINALLY the year I finished school! Woohoo!!

2007:
wow. What a big year. 17 and I finally got my first kiss. And my first other things. If you get it. I got my first boyfriend (which disappointingly came AFTER a few other first things) and I realised f was a douche bag who didn’t deserve my time. Crashed a car, lost my license, finished school. And got my first surgery. Yeh. Pretty big year.
Something Stupid I Did: ok there are quite a few, but first I’m going to have to go with losing my license. To this day I maintain that I am not a terrible driver and the first accident was a complete accident and the talking on the phone thing was just an act of stupidity. Another stupid thing I did was f. yeh. I’m just going to leave that like it is
Something Not Stupid I Did: I turned 18. Smartest move of my life, turning 18. I know it is not technically something I MADE happen, but I did it. MAYBE it was that I managed not to die, even after all the stupid shit I did that year. F could have had aids....

2008:
I literally did nothing. I worked and I drank and I failed to save money.
Something Stupid I Did: hooked up with that weird guy Angus who stalked me for months.
Something Not Stupid I Did: Broke up with Simon after I found out he slept with that ugly girl from NEGS. Jerk.

2009:
I moved to America
Something Stupid I Did: moved to America
Something Not Stupid I Did: moved to America.

and now it’s 2010 and I don’t know what stupid and non stupid things I’ll do but there will be many (probably more stupid) and in 10 years I’ll make a new "the last decade" blog and you'll get to read all about it.***
or maybe I’ll just vent on here every couple of months.

OH BY THE WAY sorry the things got so short by the end but I just got bored of writing this and chances are you got sick of reading it anyway and have just skipped to the bottom.
Laters.

***NOTE: this will probably not happen. I doubt I’ll still be blogging in 10 years.