letters to many things that probably cant read, and maybe to a couple of things/people that can.

Dear Bruce,
Whatever happened to you? one day you were in my life and the next you were gone, never to be seen again.
my room is very clean at the moment, bruce, but it is decidedly empty because i am in a different country. i wonder, what happens to my room in all that silence. does reggie ever go in there? did you like reggie, bruce? i like reggie a fair bit. what will happen to all my stuff that doesnt get used for a year? i should have sold everything.
hanna, should you read this, do you have any of my dvds?
I'm pretty sure you must be dead, bruce, and that saddens me, because you were a pretty awesome spider. i hope you rest in peace. have you met any cool celebs in heaven? do spiders go to the same heaven as people? say hi to god for me, tell him im sorry for my sins, but im going to keep doing them because living without sin is kinda boring.
Love Ann-Marie.



Dear Reggie,
you are my lovely dog and i love you ever so much. will you forget about me this year? im sorry that i left you, you probably dont understand why i did that. people seem to leave you, poor reggie. jane, the love of your life, left very unexpectedly one day, and you probably dont know what you did wrong. Reggie, my lovely dog, you didnt do anything wrong. sometimes i feel sorry for you beccause you have a very simple life, and my life is very complicated, and i dont think you understand. sometimes i envy you because you're life is so simple and that must be very nice.
my favourite thing about you, reggie, is that you have the most fun of anyone of all. i think it is hilarious to watch you do funny things, like when no one will play with you and so you lie on the floor and use your paws to throw the toys in the air and catch them.
you are the greatest. never change.
Love Ann-Marie.


Dear iPhone,
you now belong to lyndal, but i feel you should know i miss you and everything about you. i especially misss the funny looks i got off people when i was talking to people with hands free and it looked like i was listening to my iPod so it looked like i was talking to myself.
i hope that lyndal treats you better than me, tho. as in, not dropping you/losing you all the time.
but i do miss you. my new phone is a peice of shit compared to you. actually it is pretty shit compared to most phones, but i guess it does the job.
Love Ann-Marie.


Dear Jane,
you were a pretty cool cat. it was especially nice that you were a lesbian. im sorry that you might not have had the best life. im sorry that you died in such a way. you were pretty annoying, but i think that was part of your charm. i wonder why you were so small. i wonder were you terribly depressed. you seemed pretty happy to me, but sometimes i think, for a cat, you had it pretty rought. i miss playing our meow games tho, you were a sneaky coniving cat. you were pretty smart, you know, with those games. it was funny how you used to wait ages and then meow really softly, almost silently, so i wouldnt hear you. but i did anyway, and then i would belt out a real loud meow that would shock you a little bit.
i remember the first day we got you, and i remember the day that you died, and i hope that you enjoyed your time with me.
i think that you had a pretty tough time filling Ringos shoes, he was an awesome cat and i dont know if its possible to beat that, but for the record, i think you did a pretty decent job of trying.
i did love you, jane, and i was devestated when you died.
rest in peace, jane the lesbian cat.
Love Ann-Marie.

Dear Honey,
Im pretty sure you arent right in the brain. but thats ok because you mental health problems are part of the reason i find you so hilarious.
this is only going to be short, but be nice to reggie. and try to be not so retarded.
you are a funny dog, but you are lovely.
Love Ann-Marie.


Dear Coles Supermarket Armidale,
You suck quite a bit.
Love Ann-Marie.


Dear TimTams,
I love you. i wish you existed in america. kindly find your way into my mothers shopping trip and into a box to america.
that would be greaaattt!
Love Ann-Marie.


Dear The Stro,
i miss getting drunk whilst located at you. You are a pretty awesome pub, and i usually hooked up whilst at you. once i hooked up with an exceptionally hot guy and i gave him my number but i was so drunk that i gave him the wrong one. he was so hot. another time i dressed up as a school girl and looked dayam fine. thankyou for your themes that allowed me to dress up like a slut and totally get away with it. i will be back in 9 months, and i will be hotter since i intend on being a solid size 8 so i'll me mega skinny and hot. i will also be very very drunk. and i'll probably hook up with someone i know i shouldnt but i will anyway because its been 3 months and im still quite enamored by him.
thanks for allowing me to make these mistakes. thanks for getting me so drunk. i love you (really)
Love Ann-Marie.


Dear Hanna,
You are lovely just the way you are. never change (this is very similar to my message to reggie. that is a compliment).
Love Ann-Marie.


Dear My Bedroom,
you are fucking great. you make my day, just looking at you. i miss sleeping in you. i miss sneaking people into you and pressing my arm against the headboard that was on the wrong side so that it didnt make noise. i miss my many, many pillows. i miss my blue sheets. i miss my john mayer poster. as far as bedrooms go, you were the perfect one for my late teens years. my new room is very grown up and boring. you are fun and not so boring. we will be reunited in 9 months, but not for long, because maybe it is time for me to grow up and move away from you and your pink walls and green curtains.
Love Ann-Marie.