Stuff Ann-Marie Hates

People Who Write Depressive Shit as their Facebook Status
look. this just pisses me off to no end. like, fuck off, no one gives a shit about how fucked up your life is, especially not the people on facebook. if you are depressed and want to end it all, fucking call lifeline because NO ONE ON FACEBOOK CARES!
i mean, literally no one. if people who cared went on facebook, the status' would go something like this:
Ann-Marie saw an old lady crossing the street today who was having trouble. so i helped her.
57 people like this

Ann-Marie saved a kitten from a tree today.
93 people liked this

Ann-Marie swerved to miss a puppy today. life saved
300 people like this.
Giorgio says: what type of puppy was it?
Ann-Marie says: a labrador.
Giorgio says: cute!!! i love labradors! and i love saving lives.

Erica is so over it all and depressed. fuck my life
Ann-Marie says: awww whats wrong babe? i still love you
Erica says: thanks babe, but my life sucks. brodie just broke up with me :(
Rebecca says: chin up babe. brodie is a dickhead and you deserve better
Ann-Marie says: **hug** i still love you.

fact is:
1. i would swerve to miss a puppy. however, i wouldnt put that as my status, it would be like, "fucking stupid dogs getting in the middle of the road" (in my head id be like, awwwww puppy!!! cute!!)
2. i dont know anyone called giorgio, but they sound like a gay guido, so i feel we could still be friends
3. i dont give a fuck if ericas life sucked, and if i did give a fuck, i certainly wouldnt promote that caringness on facebook. unless erica was actually a friend of mine (NOTE** none of my friends are retarded enough to write this as thier facebook status
4. i dont save kittens from trees. i live by the fantasy that a hot fireman will come save said kitten and we can become lovers
5. if an old lady cant cross the street, she should stay the fuck home

because of this hatred for emo facebook status, my favourite status is
Ann-Marie got so fucking crunk last night. my life is awesome
455 people like this
(ps, 455 is exactly how many friends i have at this current time. i know. LOSER. who has under 500 friends these days... gosh..)
(pps my status has never been set as this. fuck my life)