Pop George

My Pop on my Dads side was kind of a bit of a funny man. He didn't really like anything modern and he complained about a lot of things (his favourite subjects were Rap music and coca cola. he hated these 2 things with a passion that is unparalleled) but he was still pretty cool. He died when I was 15 and i don't really have that many memories of him. No really big memory anyway. not a full on story. just little things.
Like when i was 5 and they lived at Darlington Park (which is now all fancy and called Darlington Beach Resort.. whatevs) and we went to the beach and i'm not kidding, i swear to god i stood on a lobster or something. and i freaked out and was screaming and running up the beach and then when we got back to Nan and Pops house i was still kinda hysterical and i was like, i stood on a lobster and it was really big!! and my pop was like “did you bring it back for me to cook? nothing like fresh lobster!” and i was like, no. it was big and scary.
Or like how my pop cooked the best spaghetti bolognese in the world. THE WORLD! i consider myself to be a pretty good cook (at least, I like what i cook) but i will never, ever be able to cook spaghetti bolognese like him. ever. me and my brother used to request it, every time we visited.
And i used to think my pop was a bit of a cranky man, but looking back he was really quite sweet. Like, when they lived in Port Macquarie and every day at 4 he used to go out to the back verandah with some mince and feed the kookaburras. when i visited we would do it together, even tho i was kinda scared of birds. and he used to be real strict about what birds could have it IE not the stupid fat magpies that used to annoy him. JUST the kookaburras. and he used to watch the birds when he was feeding them and make sure that everyone got some. and the not so fat ones he was extra nice to and used to give them a little bit more because they weren't as aggressive as the other ones.
but one of the last memories i have of my pop and i together was when they lived in wachope. he was pretty old and i was all annoyed and teen angst-y at him because my last birthday was spent at his house and its a tradition that i always have maccas for breakfast on my birthday but he didn't like maccas so we had to go to the stupid golf club for breakfast and i had to pretend to like it even tho i just wanted hotcakes drenched in the syrup that only macdonalds have and 2 hash browns. and we were watching TV and i was about to go to bed when we started watching this show that i cant remember the name of. and we were SO INTO IT! it was kind of like a murder mystery kinda show and we were discussing what would happen and then after an hour it was like “to be continued”. i never got to see the other half, i don't know if he did, but we both felt so ripped off that it was “to be continued”.
it sounds stupid, but its probs one of my favourite memories of my pop.
so my pop died when i was 15... Actually, what happened was he had to get surgery and the Dr. was all, if you have the surgery you MIGHT die, but if you don't have the surgery you WILL die. anyway, what ended up happening was he never woke up from the operation, but he was in a coma for a fair bit.. i don't really remember it that well. i remember that my Nan didn't want us to go and see him while he was in a coma, because she didn't want us to remember him like that. It was like he was already dead when he was in the coma. just technically speaking, he wasn't. anyway, i never really got to say goodbye to him because i'm like this hugely optimistic person and i kind of just expected him to wake up.
i think it was fair enough that my nan didn't want us to see him. I respect that. I don't think i would have liked it if the last time i saw my pop he wasn't talking. and just lying there. apparently it didn't even look like my pop.
i remember when my mum told me he died and i was real weird about it. i was at AYSTO and my mum comes in and she was like "Ann-Marie, you need to come home now" and i was all like "why?" but secretly pleased cos i didn't really like AYSTO that much. and then she was like "Pop died" and it suddenly wasn't all that exciting to be going home anymore. so i packed up my violin and i think i cried a bit on the way home but i don't remember. then we drove for a really long time and went to my uncles house and i didn't know how to act but i just remember feeling really sad for my nan.
sometimes i think its worse for the partner of someone who dies than it is for the kids and stuff. because when you marry someone, you CHOOSE them, but when its your dad you didn't choose them. its not like one person is sadder than the other, but when you build a life around someone i imagine it would be devastating when they die.
having said that, i'd be devastated if either of my parents died.
I'm a bit funny with funerals. i act real indifferent when I'm there. its like I'm a different person. i'm all mature and serious and i sit/stand very straight with a very grown up expression on my face. at my pops funeral i was trying to be all strong for everyone and it was really sad when his best friend gave a talk because he couldn't talk real well cos he had a stroke, and he pretty much stood out the front trying to talk and crying. and then i remember realising that it was my POP that was in that casket and they started lowering the curtain to cremate him and i remember losing it and i was all sobbing and mum gave me a tissue. i thought i was hysterical but my mum told me she was kinda surprised at how mature about it i was and how controlled i was.
its funny how your perception of things can be completely different from someone else's.
Anyway, i never really got to say bye to him, so this blog is in memory of Pop George. There is not a special reason i'm writing about him tonight, i was just thinking about him. sorry it took 5 years pop.
x

Stuff Ann-Marie Hates

Lip Peircings

There is nothing attractive about a guy who has weird studs in weird places in his lip. I have a friend who has this, and I have had the opportunity to kiss him, which I have taken and it was fucking weird. Am I missing something? Did we have a class in school called “how to kiss people who have pierced lips” that I missed because I was sick all the time? The entire time we were kissing (i.e. 2 seconds), I was thinking, “the ring feels funny. What if I rip it out? What if it cuts me? This is weird.” And so I made the decision to never pierce my lips.
No. That’s a lie. I made that decision when I saw someone with pierced lips and I thought, fuck that looks weird. Note to self: never get a lip piercing.
As a general rule, I’m not a huge fan of any form of facial piercings except for nose rings and that’s only ok on girls (it just looks stupid on a guy). I am well aware that I had a thing going with a guy that had his nose pierced, but with all due respect, I thought it looked stupid on him too. There are some things that are just for guys (i.e. tattoos on the bicep (that looks extra stupid on girls), getting into punch ups) and some things that are just for girls (i.e. belly button piercings, bras etc). Unfortunately for guys, the girl club is much more exclusive and we have cooler stuff. The down side is that as girls, we have more to spend our hard earned cash on.
Another facial piercing I hate are fucking eyebrow rings... it looks good on maybe 1 out of every 35 people who have it done. Why do you have it done? Are you trying to look tough? You look like a pussy bitch. Sorry, but it’s true.
But back to lip piercings. Who even thought of that? Who thought, I don’t want to get my ears pierced even tho its way easy to hide if I ever change my mind. I know! Why don’t I stick a needle through my lip! GOOD ONE!
Honestly. They serve no purpose and they look stupid and when you discover how stupid it looks, sure you can remove it, but always and forever there will be a little hole there and everyone will know that once upon a time you were a douche who had a pierced lip.

Dear John

So I go to the movies a lot. Like, I believe I go more than what would be considered normal. so I go to these movies and I sit there and I watch them and then I talk about it to the person I watched it with and then it usually ends with me saying "I want a boyfriend" (note: it does not matter what type of movie I watch, I always say this at the end. it could be an icky gory horror movie and I would finish saying how gross it was and how I didn’t want to see her guts being torn out and then like clockwork, this would happen "...*sigh*... I want a boyfriend". but that is a WHOLE OTHER STORY)
so I thought, considering the amount of movies I watch, maybe I should do something constructive and actually, I don’t know review them.
Please note the following:
1. I watch pretty crap movies. No artsy or critically acclaimed stuff for me
2. I’m not very good at keeping secrets, so I’m probably going to wreck all these movies for you.
SO IF YOU DONT WANT TO KNOW HOW IT ENDS, STOP READING! Even better, I’ll just warn you whenever I’m about to spoil something.
I thought I’d start off with the movie I most recently watched, "Dear John".
I’m not going to lie, mainly I wanted to see this movie because a) it was based on a book by Nicholas sparks and he wrote the notebook and I love the note book and b) it starred Channing Tatum, and I was pretty sure I was going to get a glimpse of him topless (ps you totally do) (pps this isn’t me spoiling the movie because they showed me topless in the commercials for it, so suck it). So as you can see, standards for watching movies are not high.

Anyway.

So, pretty much what happens is there’s this guy called John and he is in the army. And then there’s this girl called Savannah and she is not in the army. And the there’s this other guy whose name I can’t remember, but part of me felt like he was a douche and part of me felt sorry for him because he clearly tried really hard to be cool but was never going to be as hot as Channing Tatum. And then they are all at this beach town called... I forget... and then the half douche/half pity case guy knocks Savannahs bag into the water and John jumps of the freaking jetty to retrieve it for her. This pretty much combines a few things that I quite enjoy: jetty jumping, bags and Channing Tatum without his shirt on.

Then the douche/charity case is like “this dude is fully crazy” and “I was just going in to get the bag” and “who the hell jumps off a jetty?!” and Savannah is all moony eyed and John and John is all awkward and shit. Look, I just have to state it here that Savannah looks weird. She’s played by Amanda Seyfried and I’m sorry, but I’ve had a problem with her looks ever since she was Karen in Mean Girls. It’s not that she’s UGLY. It’s just that there’s something not right about her in regard to her looks. I mean, her eyes are way big... she kinda looks a bit like an emancipated child. I don’t know. I can’t find this girl sexy. So while she’s looking all moony eyed and John and trying to be flirty, all I can think is, you look kinda weird.
Having said that, the girl does have amazing legs, so when I saw them I was all like dang I wish I had those legs.

Then Savannah convinces John to come to her house for a BBQ and they act all weird around each other and this is CLEARLY them falling in love. Then he asks her on a date and he manages to walk onto a fucking fire (I think that’s the directors/writers way of making him look all cute and nervous, but really it just makes him look like an idiot who can’t see where a fucking FIRE is). Then there’s this creepy guy whos name is Tim and he has this kid with Autism and he lives next door to Savannah so their families are all tight and shit. And he tells John if he breaks her heart he’ll have to hurt him by breaking his leg or something, and I’m looking at this guy like, John could crush on in a second dude, stop trying to be tough.

So then a bit after that it turns out Savannah is this total goody goody who is spending her spring break building a house for this family who lost theirs in some really bad storm instead of getting drunk like practically every other college kid in America. And she takes John to the house while no one is working on it and SUPRISE it starts raining and they run under cover even though they are already soaked and Savannah says something about how people seemed scared of him when they went on a date (I didn’t mention the date because I didn’t care about it) and he was like, they are scared of what I used to be, not who I am now and then Savannah is all like, you don’t scare me, John, and John says “well you scare me” and then SUPRISE they start making out.
Look, Hollywood, I fully get that Nicholas sparks writes these amazing romance novels, but try not to mix everything up. What is one of the most famous scenes from the notebook? The making out in the rain scene. If you ask me, this scene was a little bit to similar.
Having said that, it was an amazingly hot kiss. I want someone to kiss me like that. Actually, it was a little bit erotic too, because he like lifted her up and she had her legs wrapped around him and then he sat down and she sat on top of him and I’m like, wow, for a girl who doesn’t sleep around (this was announced earlier too. Turns out Savannah is some form of perfect) you sure do kiss pretty sluttily for a first kiss. AHHH who am I kidding? That kiss would be slutty for anyone even if it was their first kiss.

Also, I don’t get why he sat down. It can’t be comfortable. It’s fucking pouring with rain, so he’s just sitting in this giant puddle kissing this girl who looks like an emancipated alien... a PRETTY emanceipated alien, but alien looking none-the-less.

Then you have a typical Hollywood slideshow type thing of their budding romance and then it’s been 2 weeks and they have a fight and then John accidently punches a whole bunch of people including that Tim guy, and then he leaves Savannah a note and then Savannah comes over and they make out a bit more.

Then John goes to war, and they write a heap of sappy letters to each other about how much they miss each other and blah blah blah.

Look. I’m sorry. Maybe it’s just because I personally am not a very romantic person, but I feel like you can’t really love a person if you’ve only known them for 2 goddamn weeks. But apparently in this movie it is possible.

Then a whole bunch of crap happens and 911 happens and John extends and Savannah gets all mad at him because they’ve already been apart for a year and blah blah blah. Then they have sex in a barn.

Yeh, you heard me. A BARN! Like, I’m pretty sure Savannah just lost her big V card, and it happened in a barn. Or, I guess if I were to be correct, it is more of a stable. As in where the horses are kept. NOTE: the ARE in that sentence, not WERE... yeh... that’s right. She lost her big V card in a horse stall that was next to another horse stall that actually HAD a horse in it. I get the whole “we are so in love we can’t keep our hands off each other for a second longer, but really? A stable? I also fully respect that you still lived with your parents which made the house difficult, but I think it will be PRETTY OBVIOUS to your parents that you got your giggity on when you walk out of the barn the next morning in last nights clothes with hay in your hair, holding hands with John. This is pretty much the same thing as you walking into the kitchen and screaming “MUM! DAD! I LOST MY BIG V LAST NIGHT IN THE STABLES”
Idiots.

I don’t know why I just started typing like I was actually talking TO Savannah then...

Anyway, then John goes back to war and the letters start again and it’s all a bit boring and mushy until Savannah stops writing to John. And he is checking the mail bag every time and not getting anything.

Look, I’m about to spoil something real big just here:

Then FINALLY he gets a letter but it turns out to be the shittest letter of all time. Savannah is all like, I’m dumping yo ass (she worded it nicer than that) and so then John gets upset and burns all the letters. And the audience is like, wtf is he doing, they’ll just get back together when he gets home from war... then this guy whos in the army with him goes up and they are talking and then the guy is like, you’ll patch things up when you go home and John goes, she’s already met someone else.

At this point in the movie, this is what was going through my mind “FUCK YOU SAVANNAH!! I FUCKING HATE YOU!! YOU ARE A GODDAMN BITCH”. To be fair, I think I actually said a couple of these things. For the rest of the movie, I hated Savannah. Every time I saw her or John, I thought “I hate you” (to her) or “I hate Savannah” to John. So pretty much the rest of the movie, to me, was a giant hate fest.

Sorry to go off on a tangent but fuck Savannah. Seriously.

So then John decides to stay at war. And ends up getting fucking shot. All I could think was “if John dies, it’s all your fucking fault Savannah” and then it’s all he is in hospital and he’s talking to his father about how the first thing he thought about when he get shot was coins (personally I would be thinking, oh fuck I just got shot and it really fucking hurts but whatever floats your boat) and the last thing he thought about before he blacked out was him.

So then even after going through rehabilitation for his injuries (you know, getting shot in the shoulder) he still doesn’t want to go home cos Savannah doesn’t love him anymore, so he STILL stays in the war. That is until it turns out his father is really sick and he gets sent back to America. I’m sorry I haven’t really touched on the father issue, but I just want to state it here, I fucking loved the dad in this movie. Every time I saw him, I loved him. So the dad has like Autism or something and is real awkward but I have to say, well done to the screenwriter/director for making such a likable character. In the same way though, I felt sorry for him, and every time I saw the dad I just wanted to cry because he was trying so hard but just struggling. Seriously likable character though. So he collects coins, right, and one of my favourite parts of the movie is when he shows Savannah this special coin that is his favourite out of all the other coins. To cut a massively long story short, it turns out John found the coin when he was little and noticed it wasn’t a usual coin so then showed his dad who then took it to get priced and it was this real rare coin that was worth like, $4000. After that the dad became obsessed with collecting coins, and John and him really connected over it till he was a teen and started being a jerk to his dad.
Honestly, as hot as John is, I still think the dad is my favourite character in the whole movie.

So then the dad dies and it’s really sad and John sells the entire coin collecting except the original coin which he keeps for himself. And no one goes to the dads’ funeral, because the dad just stayed home all the time and wouldn’t leave the house. It was really sad. I cried a little bit.

Then John goes to visit Savannah. At first I thought it was to get mad at her for not going to his dads funeral cos they were close (the dad and Savannah I mean) but then it turns out she didn’t know and then THATS when the big shock of the movie comes out.

So Savannah is all married and the whole time everyone is thinking it was that douche guy from the start of the movie who was like in love with Savannah. So then Savannah takes John inside and then after a while goes to get something so John starts looking at the photos and comes across a wedding photo. So then it zooms in on it and it turns out it WASNT the douchy guy from the start of the movie but TIM! The next door neighbour. Whos really old and kind of creepy. SHE MARRIED HIM! Everyone in the cinema is like, OH MY GOD. Actually, on a side note, I was sitting in front of this black guy who was like, oh HELL no and it was really funny and kind of lightened the mood a bit for me.

Seriously, if I didn’t hate Savannah before, I sure did hate her then. I can’t believe she left the specimen that is John for that old guy. What a fucking idiot.

So then it turns out Tim has cancer and they have to money left and although they don’t SAY it in the movie he mysteriously gets enough money for a final treatment. Then John goes back to war and Savannah writes John a letter that was like, I’m so glad I had the last 4 months with him blah blah blah. So he died.

Then at the very end of the movie they hug but I don’t know if they got back together or not.

You know, when I saw the movie I thought, wow this movie is really good, but looking back on it, it was actually kinda shit. Maybe I just liked it because of the whole Channing Tatum thing, but I bet I’d like it again if I saw it again.

All in all I give this movie 2 ½ stars. Out of 5. Which isn’t SO bad, really....

Stuff Ann-Marie Hates

People Who Write Depressive Shit as their Facebook Status
look. this just pisses me off to no end. like, fuck off, no one gives a shit about how fucked up your life is, especially not the people on facebook. if you are depressed and want to end it all, fucking call lifeline because NO ONE ON FACEBOOK CARES!
i mean, literally no one. if people who cared went on facebook, the status' would go something like this:
Ann-Marie saw an old lady crossing the street today who was having trouble. so i helped her.
57 people like this

Ann-Marie saved a kitten from a tree today.
93 people liked this

Ann-Marie swerved to miss a puppy today. life saved
300 people like this.
Giorgio says: what type of puppy was it?
Ann-Marie says: a labrador.
Giorgio says: cute!!! i love labradors! and i love saving lives.

Erica is so over it all and depressed. fuck my life
Ann-Marie says: awww whats wrong babe? i still love you
Erica says: thanks babe, but my life sucks. brodie just broke up with me :(
Rebecca says: chin up babe. brodie is a dickhead and you deserve better
Ann-Marie says: **hug** i still love you.

fact is:
1. i would swerve to miss a puppy. however, i wouldnt put that as my status, it would be like, "fucking stupid dogs getting in the middle of the road" (in my head id be like, awwwww puppy!!! cute!!)
2. i dont know anyone called giorgio, but they sound like a gay guido, so i feel we could still be friends
3. i dont give a fuck if ericas life sucked, and if i did give a fuck, i certainly wouldnt promote that caringness on facebook. unless erica was actually a friend of mine (NOTE** none of my friends are retarded enough to write this as thier facebook status
4. i dont save kittens from trees. i live by the fantasy that a hot fireman will come save said kitten and we can become lovers
5. if an old lady cant cross the street, she should stay the fuck home

because of this hatred for emo facebook status, my favourite status is
Ann-Marie got so fucking crunk last night. my life is awesome
455 people like this
(ps, 455 is exactly how many friends i have at this current time. i know. LOSER. who has under 500 friends these days... gosh..)
(pps my status has never been set as this. fuck my life)

Stuff Ann-Marie Hates (part 1)

So i've recently realised that there are alot of things that i, ann-marie, hate. the list is so long, infact, that it would be a blog of epic proportions and i feel that 1) i am too lazy for that shiz, and 2) you, the reader, are too lazy to read that shiz. so every so often im going to post a blog about something i hate. kind of like that site "stuff hipsters hate" but its going to be "stuff ann-marie hates"
(**NOTE: this will probably be the only Stuff Ann-Marie Hates, because i'll forget about it, like i usually do with things, and it will just die off. its like a child.. if you forget about it, it will die. like a child needs food and water and love and attention (not so much love and attention), a blog idea needs a mind less forgetful to feed it with words of wisdom) (that was a long note)
(***NOTE: this idea will probably not catch on as much as Stuff Hipsters Hate. dissapointing, because im more important than hipsters, but probably not as funny as the people who write that. if you havent read that, you should. i laughed)

STONERS WHO TALK ABOUT GETTING HIGH ALL THE TIME
Look, generally im a pretty easy going person. im kind of a bit of a bitch, and i do tend to judge people, but i dont care if you do drugs. personally, i dont do that, but if you've had the displeasure of seeing me drunk, you know that i do not need to get high to act like a crazy person. if you do drugs, fine, its your life.
the drug i have the least against is pot. if you want my personal opinion, i see nothing wrong with pot. as far as i know, pot doesnt kill people. i dont really know why, in my 20 years of life, i've never smoked pot, but i havent. from what i've gathered, pot makes you pretty chill, and thats something i could recommend for myself since im usually a crazy bitch.
heres my outlook on drugs: go for you're life doing them, just dont drag others into your drug induced mess unless they are doing drugs with you. i think of that with pretty much anything. do what you want, as long as your not dragging everyone into your mess. what you do with yourself is your own problem.
so to all the stoners out there, peace. but shut the fuck up about how high you are. i honestly just dont care, because im too self centered and would just like to talk about myself some more.
and i doubt that the non-self centered people care about how fucking high you are either.
i know this girl who doesnt shut UP about how high she is, or how high she was, or how high shes going to get.
heres a few examples of our online/phonecall conversations:
facebook chat:
her: heyyy
me: hey
me: hows it going
her: dude, im so fucking high right now
me: ok

phonecall
me: hello?
her: heyy
me: oh hey..
her: what are you doin?
me: nothing, just waiting for the kids to get off the bus
her: cool
me: what are you doing?
her: i just woke up
me: (secretly jealous that im not a spoilt rich kid who can sleep all day cos mummy pays for everything) (and just to clarify, im NOT that spoilt) oh. ok.
her: cool. dude, i went to this party last night and got so fucking high. there was so much pot, it was ridiculous. i fucking miss australia and drinking tho. i kind of wanna go back.
me: yeh. i want to go back to australia too
her: dude, just fucking stay here for another 6 months
my thoughts: look im just putting it out there, but im a borderline alcholic and i need to be able to drink legally again. how do i explain that in a non trashy way?
me: i just really miss my friends and family.
her: true. i cant believe how high i was last night.
me: ok. well, theres charlies bus, i have to go, talk to you later.

facebook chat:
her: hey
me: heyy
her: dude, what the fuck is with (insert name here) shes being all weird
me: i dont know
her: what are you doing this weekend?
me: not much. im just working.
her: cool. im about to go to my friends party. its going to be awesome, theres gonna be so much pot, we're going to get so high.
me: um. ok. cool
her: yeh it is cool. see ya

phonecall:
me: hello?
her: heyyy.. talk australia
me: um.. ok
her: oh my god, im at my friends house and we are so fucking high, my friends love your accent.
me: um cool. im driving at the moment so i have to go.. see ya.

im not judging all stoners. just dont talk to us nonstoners about how stoned you are cos we really actually just DONT CARE.
and thats one thing i hate

The Last Decade

Dear Faithful Readers,
are there actually any of you left? I thought, its 2010 and I haven’t written in awhile. So I thought I’d give a brief recap of the last decade, what I did, who I did it with and so on and so forth. Since nothing is really new in my life... except a few weeks ago I made out with a hot french man. Hell yes!!!!!!
Anyway.
The Last Decade...

2000:
I believe I was in year 5. And I had Ms Gowdy as my teacher. My best friend was Jessie Bestwick. She was kind of a "bad girl" I guess. She dressed like a guy and swore a lot. But she was awesome.
Something Stupid I Did: I managed to get myself into the middle of a girl fight, and then we were writing letters. Jessie’s and Emma’s swore a lot, but, being the nice 10 year old I was, I didn’t swear. Anyway. We got caught, and I got dragged into the whole thing and then we got 3 weeks detention. All my letter said was "I know the girls don’t like Melissa so much, but I don’t" and then we were caught.
Honestly. St. Marys is shit. I think Ms Gowdy left after that, but not before ruining the year 5/6 excursion for everyone by moving it from going to Brisbane and being awesome to going to Canberra and being shit and cold.
Something Not Stupid I Did: I think everything I did when I was 10 was pretty stupid. Sorry to disappoint. No! WAIT! In 2000 I did TWO music exams (piano and violin) and I’m pretty sure I got A's for both of them. No I didn’t. I got an A in violin and a B+ in piano. That was the last year I was allowed to do 2 exams because B+'s are not acceptable to my piano teacher. And mum decided it was too stressful for a kid to be doing 2 exams a year.

2001:
My best friend was Amy Burton and we were pretty inseparable. I started properly liking boys, but was too shy to do anything. I got a Nike bag and it was stolen off the bag rack. I discovered the miracle that are sour cream and onion chips. Sam Gill had a crush on me. I liked lots of different types of music. I tried to keep a diary, and Ringo died. :(
Something Stupid I Did: I may as well admit it to you all now; I flirted with Sam Gill for a year and then freaked out when his friends told me he liked me and wanted to date me because he wasn’t very attractive. So really, at age 11, I played my first guy. Well done. I just realised now when my hussiness started. Anyway so his friends forced an "ok" out of me and then everyone thought we were dating but I didn’t want to date him so my way of dealing with it was to pretend I didn’t know what they were talking about. So the next day when Jessie asked me if Sam and I were boyfriend and girlfriend, I laughed and said, no. I wouldn’t date Sam. he's my friend. In front of Sam.
Something Not Stupid I Did: I’m pretty sure I was elected SRC in term 3 of year 6. It was the second time I was elected SRC. So that was pretty sick of me. Pretty not stupid. I don’t think I actually DID anything, but it still happened.

2002:
So it was my first year of high school. I had no boobs, frizzy hair, crooked teeth and an annoying voice. My best friend went to a different high school and I became a bit weird and quiet because I wasn’t sure how to act without her around since she was like my other half back then. Jasmine was my other close friend and she used to tease me for being flat chested. (ha). E.L got preggers and I guessed it (I still don’t know how 12 year old me knew she was preggers) and then she got an abortion. I was terrible at art and good at Music.
Something Stupid I Did: I tried way too hard in year 7. I wanted to be really grown up when the fact was I hadn’t hit puberty and looked 9. But the stupidest thing I did was think that it was OK to wear jeans and joggers. Honestly. There are a million photos of me with this look and I don’t know why I thought it was ok to dress like this. JEANS AND JOGGERS DO NOT GO TOGETHER!
Something Not Stupid I Did: I was so ahead in music that the teacher had me doing year 8 music. I had an average test score of 99%. I was good. I topped year 8 music in year 7. Then I got a teacher who didn’t like me and it allll went downhill from there.

2003:
I was 13 and all my friends had boobs. Jasmine got her first boyfriend. I broke them up because he started liking me. I first developed my hatred towards joggers and refused to wear them. Instead I wore skate shoes everywhere I used to wear joggers. To PE. With jeans. Even when I played hockey. I threw out my joggers and skate shoes were all I wore. My favourite look was wearing a short denim miniskirt with the skate shoes (I still own the skirt and wear it. not true for the skate shoes). My brother was 18 and constantly had drunk friends over at our house. I wasn’t allowed to do anything and was annoyed that mark could do whatever he wanted.
Something Stupid I Did: pretty much anything to do with fashion did not exist in my mind. Sure, I THOUGHT I looked cool but now I look back and think, what the fuck was I thinking? Why did I think it was appropriate to wear a midriff cat in the hat halter (tho that shirt was fucking awesome)? I thought it was cool to put my hair into high and tight ponytails when it really just accentuated the fact that I have a massive forehead. I had yet to discover how to put on makeup and look terrible in every single photo. I liked to wear clothes that matched a little too much. I wore the same turtleneck jumper with brown cords everywhere in winter (with skate shoes). I was a fashion retard.
Something Not Stupid I Did: I quit piano. It made me miserable. Good work on that one, little lady (ps I’m talking to myself here). I remember the day I quit. For a while I had been making excuses not to go and mum was like you’re an idiot, you didn’t suddenly get the flu. And then one day I had enough. my piano teacher made me feel like shit every week and used to tell me I was her "worst student" (I think she meant in terms of practising. something I didn’t believe in) and then I spent ages learning to play 1000 miles, which took me quite a bit because ok? That song is hard. And I was 13. and then she told me I wasn’t allowed to play it at the final concert, but she had only taught me that and this shitty gay I don’t even remember what song it was it was so crap STUDY (BTW for all you non-musical people (i.e. anyone with a brain) a study is just a song that isn’t meant for any meaning other than its supposed to improve your technicality of the instrument you are studying so, for piano, it’s pretty much just scales and shit and teaching your fingers to move faster and whatnot. in other words its gay and boring) so I was going to have to play that, and I’m sorry but I spent fucking ages learning 1000 miles to the point where I actually practised playing it. Yeh. I practised! And she told me I couldn’t play it. So then it was nearly time for piano and mum was like, ok you better start getting ready for piano. And I was like, I’m not going to piano today. And mum was like, why not? You aren’t sick... and I was like, no I’m not sick. I just don’t want to go (for the record, that’s probably the most honest thing I’ve ever said to my mum ever... not that I lie but I mean, she paid a lot for piano and I didn’t want to disappoint her..) and I guess mum had had enough of me always trying to get out of it because she was like, do you just not want to go today, or ever? And I was like, I don’t want to do it anymore. So she called my teacher and told her I wasn’t going back. My mum is awesome.

2004:
ah. What a fun year. Not. I still had no boobs and I was 14 and it was a horrible time for me. People made fun of me for having no boobs (WELL! I showed THEM!) And jasmine was still being your typical slut and having a steady stream of boyfriends. Which I personally did not get. Because jasmine was not that pretty and she was also fat. Now. I may not be the prettiest thing on the planet, however the thing I DID have going for me back then was the fact that I had not yet hit puberty and therefore still had my skinny little emancipated body. The year was pretty shit and non-eventful. I don’t even remember anything I really did this year. I’ll try... OH! I do remember one thing I did! I got braces! Yessss!!!
Something Stupid I Did: I’m going to stick with the whole fashion thing again. Seriously. I look back on this time with shame.
Something not stupid I did: I believe I may have written some great essay or something that showed great potential (too bad I ruined it by not doing any work for the next 3 years.)

2005:
Finally, after years of torment with my goddamn teeth they were starting to go straight. I was overjoyed. I was 15 and still hadn’t been kissed but so what? My teeth were getting straight and I was getting hotter by the second. this is also the year I got massive knockers and rumours went around that I was stuffing my bra until the swimming carnival where I sadly discovered none of my old clothes fit my b cup boobs anymore and Keryn called me a slut (although what kind of slut has never been kissed? nice logic, Keryn) and Chelsea decked her. so then I had to get new clothes and, amazingly, a new bikini even tho I bought one at the start of summer in 2004 (yeh, I was the type of girl that celebrated the start of summer by getting a new bikini.) and I still have that bikini (it doesn’t fit as nicely anymore thanks to my porn star breasts). Then by the end of the year I believe I was a D cup (a cup a term pretty much) and my boobs had reached epic proportions. Oh I also got a job.
Something Stupid I Did: took my shirt off at the end of year pool party. Honestly, I knew I should have kept my top on. A 16 year old with massive boobs should not actually be allowed near public pools, and if they do go near them, there should be a law saying "bikinis not allowed. Keep your dang shirt on, you future porn star" but there wasn’t and Chelsea told me it wasn’t a big deal because everyone was just in their bikinis. However, EVERYONE but me had small boobs. the only good thing that came out of it was the fact that people realised I didn’t suddenly get fat that year, my boobs just got big so everything looked out of proportion on me. How do porn stars do it?! Oh yeah. They don’t WEAR any clothes, so nothing looks big on them (I’m looking at YOU, Carmen Electra. wtf was with that dress on New Years Eve? I don’t care if you were in fucking Vegas, it’s the middle of winter, and it gets cold in the desert too!)
Something Not Stupid I Did: I started working at Coles (this could be argued as a stupid move tho...). However, I did start making my own money AND being the genius I am, I managed to get my parents to still give me pocket money. So I was earning AND getting $80 a week from mummy and daddy. Yeh, I know I’m spoilt, but I can admit it, and I feel this makes it ok. ANOTHER thing I did was I quit the youth orchestra, thus getting further away from the nerdy white girl image I had going on. AND I found $500 in my blazer pocket but that’s a whole other story that I’m not getting into.

2006:
what kind of 16 year old has not been kissed? It’s not like I was still ugly at this stage.. I had braces and I was in year 11 and my hair was nice and long and I finally learnt how to put makeup on and my boobs had reached epic proportions but still, no kiss for me. At this stage my obsession with f had also reached epic proportions, something that I’m not proud of. I was fighting with J more frequently and we got a new group at school. Mr. w was still my fucking music teacher and I was failing, even tho for the past 3 years I’d been number 1 in the class. All in all, 2006 was not the best year for me.
Something Stupid I Did: Did my deb ball with Jacob. What a fucking wanker. I mean seriously, he nearly made me cry ON THE NIGHT OF THE BALL!! I mean, I was literally waiting outside the hall to be introduced as a woman, and I’m fighting back tears. (To add further insult to the situation, my so called "best friend" of the time still associates with him. I think if someone makes your friend cry on the night of her deb ball, you stop hanging out with them). He also so I was only ok when I was wearing low-cut shirts. This is why I hate boys. He was supposed to be really Christian but he was still a filthy perve. I mean honestly. Way to wreck a night, Jacob. The night will always and forever be a horrible memory for me, which is a shame because I looked hot, since I’d just gotten my braces off and taught myself how to smile.
Something Not Stupid I Did: I went to America for the first time. How exciting. at first it kind of sucked because everyone except for Elle went with a friend and I was kinda by myself and I got really sick but you know, I ended up having the best time and it’s a happy memory for me. plus it’s when me and Naisy reconnected as best friends for life (what we used to call each other when I was 7 and she was 5) and I finally worked out how shit my old school friends were (hence why after year 12 I ditched them). Good times. OH and I got my p plates. some of you may argue that this was a stupid move given my driving record, but to those of you who say that I say "fuck you" because I will admit that I’m not the BEST driver, but I’m not the worst and those 2 crashes were ACCIDENTS and technically speaking when I had then I didn’t do anything TECHNICALLY wrong except for the part where I crashed. Anyway. I also started year 12, which was smart, because it was FINALLY the year I finished school! Woohoo!!

2007:
wow. What a big year. 17 and I finally got my first kiss. And my first other things. If you get it. I got my first boyfriend (which disappointingly came AFTER a few other first things) and I realised f was a douche bag who didn’t deserve my time. Crashed a car, lost my license, finished school. And got my first surgery. Yeh. Pretty big year.
Something Stupid I Did: ok there are quite a few, but first I’m going to have to go with losing my license. To this day I maintain that I am not a terrible driver and the first accident was a complete accident and the talking on the phone thing was just an act of stupidity. Another stupid thing I did was f. yeh. I’m just going to leave that like it is
Something Not Stupid I Did: I turned 18. Smartest move of my life, turning 18. I know it is not technically something I MADE happen, but I did it. MAYBE it was that I managed not to die, even after all the stupid shit I did that year. F could have had aids....

2008:
I literally did nothing. I worked and I drank and I failed to save money.
Something Stupid I Did: hooked up with that weird guy Angus who stalked me for months.
Something Not Stupid I Did: Broke up with Simon after I found out he slept with that ugly girl from NEGS. Jerk.

2009:
I moved to America
Something Stupid I Did: moved to America
Something Not Stupid I Did: moved to America.

and now it’s 2010 and I don’t know what stupid and non stupid things I’ll do but there will be many (probably more stupid) and in 10 years I’ll make a new "the last decade" blog and you'll get to read all about it.***
or maybe I’ll just vent on here every couple of months.

OH BY THE WAY sorry the things got so short by the end but I just got bored of writing this and chances are you got sick of reading it anyway and have just skipped to the bottom.
Laters.

***NOTE: this will probably not happen. I doubt I’ll still be blogging in 10 years.