I Still Love You

So, i was going to do this really cool blog about what i wanted for my birthday but i forgot. sorry.
maybe i'll do it for christmas....
m.

i wanted to write about this FANTASTIC singer called Taylor Swift.
i. fucking. love. her.
shes a bit country, but honestly, she is amazing! Since im no music critic, i cant even describe it, but you know, i can RELATE to her songs.
shes only 18, right, and she writes ALL her own songs.
her first album, which is self titled, went triple-platinum in america. and from the album she had 5 top 10 singles in the Us Billboard Country Chart. She is the first female artist in history to write or co-write every song on the album (which, i have to say, is a bit sad for us ladies). and this album came out in 2006! SO SHE WAS ONLY 16!!! amazing
apart from being a brilliant musician, right, she is so down to earth and funny. and she doesnt cover up all the shit and i fucking love that.
you may not know that taylor used to date joe jonas (ie one of my future husbands) and the story goes that he dumped her over the phone. thats how it was told on ellen. by her.
but the funny thing is, that, she made this video on her myspace and in one part of it, shes holding a doll of joe from camp rock. and it comes with a phone. and she says something along the lines of "now he can dump his doll girlfriends over the phone too"
or something like that
it was funnier probably. i laughed.

anyway.
the point is i fucking love her.
in march she is coming to australia AND IM GOING TO SEE HER LIVE with my darling renee.
hooray!!

if i were a boy.

the song if i were a boy by beyonce makes me a little bit sad.
one time, after a particually horrible night, i listened to it in the morning. and it made me cry. not just a little bit, but actually sobbing.
i think that maybe every girl that has been in a bad situation with a boy can relate to that song.
EVERY GIRL.
and it makes you so sad because you FEEL HER PAIN.
look i dont want to analyse it too much because i was never very good at analysing music (ask my music teacher) but i feel like you can REALLY HEAR her pain when she sings certain lines. and then theres the contrasts! i mean, she sounds like her heart is being torn in 2 when she sings the chorus. especially the first time she sings it. and then she starts the 2nd verse and she sings "if i were a boy" and it just sounds so sad and resigned.
look. i cant even explain what i hear when i listen to this song. but it really does make me want to cry.
and its worse when you are IN THAT SITUATION and i feel, right now, that i am.
and it sucks.

life is a bed of roses

here is the reason behind my chosen blog name:
roses are pretty and everyone loves them and it is such a great gift to give someone a rose. so in the same way, it seems like such a great gift to give someone the gift of life (thankyou mum).
and while i would not turn down someone giving me a bunch of roses, what are you really giving me? something that will inevitably wilt and die. and dont forget that if i try to hold them wrong i get pricked by the fucking thorns. and so then, what if someone gave me a bed of roses? yes, thankyou for the pretty but rather impractical gift. but what am i meant to do with it? LOOK AT IT? its not like you can lie in it because of the THORNS and thats what you have to be careful of.
which leads me to why life is like a bed of roses. you get those freak people that are like, life is so beautiful, blah blah blah i am so happy all the time. and i will admit that i am, for the most part, a very optimistic person. but the truth is this, as pretty as life seems, its really just going to wilt and die and in the mean time you'll spend all you're time looking out for the thorns. and if you dont look for the thorns you get pricked.
maybe pessimistic people have it right. atleast they arent surprised when they get pricked by the thorns because they expect it. and have you noticed that when you expect something to hurt it doesnt usually hurt as much as you were expecting (except maybe if you were getting a leg cut off) and that makes it a bit better? but on the other hand, if you arent really expecting something to hurt USUALLY it hurts so much it makes you cry into your.. whatever. i dont know.
my point is, the pessimistic people have the right idea. if you expect something bad to happen, sure, it might still hurt but not as much as it hurts when you arent expecting something bad to happen and then the unexpected happens. and then you find yourself with a funny feeling in your tummy and tears streaming down your face and theres nothing you can do about it.
i dont know how much sense this blog made.
and i dont actually know if life is a bed of roses is even a saying, but i made it up so if you dont like it, fuck off.

list

Dear Readers (hanna),
as i have been too sick to do anything terribly exciting the past few days, i thought i'd compose a list of things that make me smile so that you can do those things if you are capable of them. i will also compose a list of things that make me frown so you can avoid those things

Things that make Ann-Marie smile

• phone calls that are just random
• holding hands with boys. only certain boys. some boys i wouldnt hold hands with.
  
• shoes
• my dog reggie
• hanna
• chocolate
• watching movies
• lying on boys chests
• when you like someone and they simply like you back
• going on holidays
• undies
• people making things for me
• having a clean room
• talking
• singing
• photos
• hooded jumpers
• when you are cold and a boy lends you their jumper
• the smell of a certain boy
• big baggie tshirts to walk around your house in
• when my bathroom is really clean
• listening to music that suits your mood
• having exceptionally nice dreams
• hannah montana (yeh. thats right)
• being silly with my friends
• my little cousin brooke. she is a funny kid. she has a boyfriend. but thats a secret.
• flowers.
• presents in general
• getting facebook comments
• Hello Kitty!
  

THINGS THAT MAKE ME FROWN

• when people don't answer their phone when you really want to talk to them.
• being sick. its the worst.
• having a messy bedroom.
• when i dont have any towels in the bathroom and have to walk naked down the hall to get one from the hall cupboard.
• when i fight with friends
• when no one fun is signed on msn
• when people dont reply to emails i send them
• when you like someone and they DONT like you back
• the fact that one of my eyes has gone all red and squinty.
• when people are rude to me.
• when i cry
• when people lie to me
• hanna (yeh i went there)
• the fact that i am a terrible dancer (but i do it anyway)
• FUCK MY EYE IS ANNOYING!!!!!
  

sick-o

Today i am sick.
it is not just me being all dramatic, which i will admit i can be. no. today i really am very sick. i have this cough that kind of makes me sound like a dying seal. and my nose, look im not trying to gross you out, but my nose is so full of snot it ACTUALLY HURTS. all of my muscles ache. im just SO SICK!
thanks to hanna for bring me 2 choc chip muffins they were amazing.

i realised today that i just had a massive week. MASSIVE. now, usually i will have a big night and not drink for a while. but lately every night has been a big night. i blame passionpop. maybe the reason i only had big nights every so often is because VODKA IS EXPENSIVE and i have little money. but now i have discovered the wonder that is passionpop. $7 for a bottle. i get drunk for $7. mark needs 2 bottles. most people might. but i cannot hold my alcohol. 1 is enough for me.

wednesday night: went to friends house for pre-drinks before the last stro of the year. that made me sad. i love the stro. the stro is my favourite night out.
we played lick and stick. i had to do it with passionpop. i am not very good at guessing games and as a result drank the whole bottle in about 10 minutes. i was onto my second bottle and decided it would be a good idea to stop.
sometimes i have good ideas.
so at this point it is around 9. yeh, thats it. just 9. im sitting on the lounge feeling sick and gross and wishing that i didnt drink so fucking much when i burped.
IT IS NOT GOOD WHEN I BURP because it often leads to me vomiting. in this case it did.
fuck. you. stomach.
i want to stick up for myself right now and say, i dont vomit often when i'm drunk. this was approximately the 4th time EVER that i've vomited drunk.
now, most smart people, had they vomited from over-consumption of alcohol, would probably STAY HOME. not me. i went out anyway.
mark drove us to the stro. i dont really remember the drive, except that i had my other bottle of passionpop with me and decided i didnt need it, so i poured it out the window.
i was told:
luci and leanne cheered for obama really loudly out the window
mark told me to go home and i said that that was a stupid idea.
someone else paid for me to get in.
so there i was, outside, doing my thing. i stood up. i lost my balance. i leaned on a table. i lay down on the table to stop falling over. as in, half my body was ON THE TABLE. i fell off the table. i tried to sit on the wall and missed and fell over. then i hear laughing and leigh is at the window and she screams "HA HA HA I SAW THAT ANN-MARIE"
just so you know, i have BRUISES from that fall. my back HURT the next day. i could barely get dressed.
kissed boy because they wouldnt give my drink back until i did.
kissed boy again because someone said they were better kisses than us.
couldnt concentrate on kissing. fell asleep in bed.
DRUNKEN SCALE: 8.
however, since i vomited, did not feel overly hung over in the morning. just tired.

friday night: dads friend came up for his birthday with his son, who is 20. it was my job to take him out. mark came too.
picked up hanna from work and we went to her house so she could "quickly get ready" which ended up taking like, an hour and a half. anthony and i had a thong war. i am pretty sure that i won. this has nothing to do with my being drunk because at the time i was driving, but it was so funny that i felt like it needed to be mentioned.
mum paid for the night. thanks mum.
went to marks house for pre-drinks. drank bottle of passionpop. hanna got drunk and i accidentally slapped her. (sorry hanna)
got to the pub and hanna saw some friends in the line so we pushed in with them. one of them had a nice haircut. we spoke kind words to each other about each others haircuts (since i got mine cut on wednesday. not many people have noticed even tho it is a dramatic change in my personal opinion).
we got into the pub and hegheg was there and i was so happy to see her. then she apologised again for being mean the wednesday before and she felt i was still mad and i told her that i wasnt anymore and she said thats why you were sad on thursday tho, isnt it, and i said yes. and then i said that it didnt matter. then later on she said she doesnt care who i hook up with aslong as it makes me happy which was nice of her but i havent hooked up with him in ages.
me and hanna were smoking and i started feeling shit at life and so i told her and then i started crying. i went to the bathroom and cried and spoke about how unattractive i felt.
i did something bad but im not going to say it here.
but hanna knows i am sorry. and if she doesnt, hanna, i am sorry.
DRUNKEN SCALE: 7 - 8

saturday night: dads birthday party.
i have already spoken about the events that night.
you can read my other blog if you want to know.
however
DRUNKEN SCALE: 10.
maybe 11 because i was out of control.

see? massive week of ann-marie being drunk.
i would very much like to play the sims but i cannot find the CD.
so instead i am going back to bed now to watch another movie.
last night i watched the Sex and the City movie and it was the extended cut and it was good. (ps did you know theres going to be a sequel! HELL YES!)
this morning i watched fast times at ridgemont high. FUN FACT: did you know that it was directed by amy heckerling? incase you dont know who that is, she wrote clueless. and directed it. clueless is a great movie.
i dont know what movie i'll watch now, but i'm sure i'll let you know.

x

DO NOT DRINK AT FAMILY FUNCTIONS!

some of you may know that my dad turned 50 yesterday, and that he had a bit of a shindig.
my dad also doesnt drink very often, so my brother and i decided to get him slaughtered.
NOTE TO EVERYONE: if you want to get someone off thier face, its probably best to NOT DRINK at the same pace as you are making them drink, or you too will become off your face. its also probably best not to assume that because they dont drink very often that it will be easy to get the drunk. also, you probably shouldn't drink more than them.
because i am told that my dad was drunk. BUT I DONT REMEMBER. it would have been the funniest thing ever, but i was just too drunk to remember ANYTHING I DID LAST NIGHT.
a vote was taken this morning with all of the people in my house (there were quite a few) and it was decided that i was the drunkest last night.
NO!
however drunk i was last night tho, i was still awesome at life.
because i managed to SNEAK INTO THE NEWIE.
well. not sneak in. but there was a ling up and i DID NOT LINE UP. garth tells me i just made up some bullshit story to the bouncer and they let me up.
FUCKEN YEH!
i slept all day today. and im going to sleep again.
night

spider room

So anyway, i woke up this morning quite early (it was around 9).
im not entirely sure why i woke up, i just suddenly jolted awake. this happens quite regularly. infact, i have terrible sleeping patterns/habits.
as per normal when i suddenly jolt awake, i tried to go back to sleep. i should just mention right now that when i first wake up i am SLIGHTLY out of it. ie i am not with the world. so i dont remember what i was thinking, but i was looking around my room and suddenly i noticed something in my curtain. i wondered to myself, what the fuck is that in my curtain. it took me some time to realise it was a spider.
this spider appeared to be a fair bit smaller than bruce (bruce was BIG) and i wondered, where are all these fucking spiders coming from? is there a hole in my fly screen? is there something nice about my room? WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE.
as my dear father had gone to work so there was no one to remove said spider (oh yeh, my room is still messy BUT you can get to my window now) i decided the best option would be to ignore the spider. i wasnt going to make the mistake of befriending it again, since last time my heart was brutely stomped on.
so then i tidied my room a bit (still not done) and i realised the spider was all curled up. i thought, since its curled about, its the same size as bruce. and thats when i realised BRUCE WAS BACK! i couldnt understand why he was curled up all weird so i thought he was dead.
but slowly he uncurled himself. bruce is alive and well. well, as well as a spider can be.
i wonder why he came back?
i would take the time to ponder this thought, dear readers (hanna), but unfortunately (VERY unfortunately) i have to go to work now.
please feel free to come to coles everyone and say hi-me. (that is a quote from the hot chick. the asian mum says it. just incase you are interested)
OH and i just got a message, what a miracle.
so, until then, im off to serve people.
quite frankly, its what i do best.
xx

i had braces and now my teeth are straight

have you ever noticed that when you have a flaw, you notice that in EVERYONE ELSE?

i thought i'd go a little bit more in depth about my flaws and how i judge people on the SAME FLAWS.

1. Boobs.
many of you (hanna) may know that i have a thing with my boobs. ok, they are fantastic now, but i have had them fixed.
but i am full on fixated on boobs. i see someone and im like WOW THEY HAVE BIG BOOBS! holy shit how do they walk. why arent they falling over?
i also judge for lack of boobs. i used to be teased for not having boobs. (ha! i showed them) (actually, im just realising i got teased for a lot of things... fuck you). im like, where are her boobs? she has none! she just has nipples.

2. Noses.
people in my study period teased me so much about my nose that im going to get a nose job. YES THATS RIGHT LUKE IF YOU ARE READING THIS, I REALLY AM GOING TO GET ONE BECAUSE OF YOU!
but i still judge people with their big giant noses.
i mostly just get mad. like, she has a big nose but shes STILL HOT.
but the most important thing here is that i NOTICE they have big noses, when really everyone else just thinks, fuck that girl is hot.

3. lisps.
i dont know if you've noticed, but i have a slight lisp due to having an expander plate.
but i still tease people with lisps RELENTLESSLY to others. especially with renee and someone who she goes to school with.
really tho, that girl is annoying.

4. voices
i dont really join in on the TEASING others aspects of this because it would be the pot calling the kettle black.
but really.
when people have annoying voices, i think to myself, wow shes got an annoying voice.
then i remember that i sound like a 3 year old.

5. teeth

this is the big one. i had fucking awful teeth, but i still judge someone if they have bad teeth. teeth are actually one of the first things i notice.

im so judgemental that i will LITERALLY think someone is unattractive if they have bad teeth.

one time i hooked up with this guy and my friends said, was he hot? and i said, he was ok, but he had weird teeth.

THAT IS BAD! (note to everyone tho, when i had bad teeth i did not hook up. this shows that atleast i will hook up with someone with bad teeth. i just judge them on it)

my line of thinking is "yeh, they have a pretty face, but thier teeth wreck it" ...if someone had thought that about me when i had bad teeth i would have cried.

one time sam called me a buck toothed bitch when we were having a fight and i cried. the funny thing was tho, that i never had buck teeth. everything else wrong with teeth, yes. but i never had buck teeth. but all you had to say was something mean about my teeth and i was off.

which makes me wonder, why am i so judgemental with teeth? i know how upsetting it is.

what i think tho, is that if your teeth are that bad, GET FUCKING BRACES! seriously. yes, they are expensive but they make you SO MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE.

im not going any further because now i feel like a bitch.

my point is this: maybe i should stop judging.

just a thought.

xx

MR MUSCLE = AMAZING

i worked today.
not at my JOB! no. MAYBE i'd actually get paid for that. no, today my working is done at my house.
see, as you may know faithful readers (hanna. and luke?), my dads 50th is coming up. so that obviously means the house has to be FREAKISHLY clean.
like, today, one of my jobs was "clean the bbq".
ok, mum, fair enough the bbq was pretty dirty. BUT WHO IS GOING TO NOTICE THE BBQ IS THAT DIRTY. and it wasnt just a quickly wipe it down with water job, NO, if its going to be done it HAS TO BE DONE PROPERLY!
just incase you've never cleaned a bbq before, which i doubt you have, i would just like to express to you that GREASE is hard to get off bbqs. First i used soap and water. didnt work.
then i tried a bit of Pine-o-clean 4 in 1 stuff. it too did not work.
NEXT i tried some sugar soap.
before i go any further i would just like to express my love for sugar soap. there is something about that stuff which just makes me happy. it is fun to clean with. perhaps its the novelty that is SUGAR SOAP.. soap made of sugar? i dont know. but it cleans real good.
the sugar soap tried its best, but it ultimately failed as well.
so then i got out the MR MUSCLE.
all i have to say is "WOW makers of mr muscle, you sure know how to make a cleaning product that gets grease off FAST!"
i wanted mum to get bam! but she would not. mr muscle is cheaper.
AND ULTIMATELY BETTER!
im just quite frankly amazed.

Why would you do this, bruce?

I have some rather disturbing news

it involves Bruce the Spider. The reason the news is disturbing is because I HAVENT SEEN HIM IN AGES. where the hell has bruce gone? i just feel that me and bruce could only be friends because i knew where he was at all times and now he has MOVED?

Bruce, should you ever read this, incase you have moved to hannas room and read it over her shoulder (i'm depending on you reading this hanna, just so bruce gets this message), i've got a letter for you:

Dear Bruce,
i just want to know why you left? did i do something to offend you? i thought that we had a pretty good human - spider relationship. especially since im scared of you, and im guessing your scared of me because, it has to be said, i am bigger than you. but i left you in peace to live in my curtain, and when i cleaned my room i was going to release you into the wild. and the good wild, ie the front yard so that jane wouldnt eat you. after all the lovely things i have planned for you, you had to move so i NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU ARE and now im going to wake up in the dead of the night CONVINCED that there is a spider on my ankle, when actually it will just be the corner of my sheet. every time i see something shift in the corner i will think FUCK THERE IS A SPIDER THERE IN THE CORNER! but really it will just be a bit of scrap paper.
and, bruce, im not going to lie to you. while you were in the curtain, i had every intention of releasing you to the wild. but i cant promise you that if i see you suddenly in the corner im not going to stop myself attacking you with a shoe out of sheer fear. and im not promising you that it wont be my doc shoe, because they are the heaviest.
look bruce, im sorry our friendship had to end this way. maybe you should have just hung around in the curtain a little bit longer. you know, my dads party is next weekend, so my room DEFINITELY has to be clean by then since someone else is sleeping in there.
and my room isnt that bad. sure, sometimes i play my music a bit too loud sometimes. and i spend an unusually large amount of time in bed. i understand that right now my room is VERY MESSY. but i'll be cleaning it up soon. and there are lots of pretty posters to look at. i would have let you build a little spider web in the corner, since i'll be scraping it down in a week.
but you ruined that bruce. now thanks to you and your selfishness, i'll be living my life in FEAR of sleeping. and i have to clean under my BED just to make sure YOU ARENT HIDING THERE and come out and suprise the people staying in my bed.
look, you ruined the friendship and it can never be regained. now you are just like any other spider. if you dont scare me too much i'll put you back in the while, but know this: your life will never be as safe as it could have been. this is no threat. i just cant be held responsible for my actions should i get a fright.
i'm sorry bruce. i will remember fondly our days together.
Sincerely,
Ann-Marie

thanks, hanna, for allowing bruce to read that over your shoulder. im sure even if he doesnt, he'll get the message. possibly when i crush him with my shoe.

byee
xx

Bruce

There is a big dirty spider in my room at the moment. his name is bruce. as many of you may know, i am ABSOLUTELY terrified of spiders, and whenever there is one in my room i scream like a girl and make my dear father get rid of it. BUT i cant do that right now because my room is a mess, and dad wont even try to get in, so i thought the best solution is to just make friends with it.
Bruce lives in my curtains. when i clean my room in the next couple of days i will get dad to put him in a glass and free him into the wild (ie the front yard. not the back or jane might try to eat him). dad will say, no we need to kill it. and i will say, dad, i think that your friends are pests, but im not going to go around killing them, release bruce in a respectful manner please.

i end on this note:
my mother just went shopping and neglected to buy food. yeh. she just bought a fuck load of cleaning stuff.
look. mum. if you ever read this, which i highly doubt you will, i need some food. can you not tell i am withering down to nothing?
Everyone else. should you read this in the next couple of hours, bring me food. preferably chips.

thanks
x

Names are lame

Picking names for things is hard.
I've just spent the last 15 minutes trying to decide on a name for my blog, and THIS was the best i could come up with? you all will have to deal with it.

this is what i think tho, see, i really feel sorry for the father of my future children.
AND THIS IS NOT FOR THE OBVIOUS REASONS (ie they are now stuck with me for life since we now share a child and even if we break up they still have to visit the kid or at least pay me child support and if they dont they are a deadbeat and i will HUNT.THEM.DOWN)
but it is mainly because i wont be able to give the poor kid a name.

lets say for instance, the future child is a girl. i'll go through all the names i like and think of reasons not to name them that. "ohh but i knew a girl with that name and she was a major bitch" or "oh theres a celebrity with that name, i dont want people thinking i names it after them" (and yes, for the record, in that train of thought any child born after 1996 with the name britney IS NAMED after britney spears)
i've always liked the name chloe but renee has a dog called chloe so now that name is gone.

on the plus side for my kid, it definitely wont have a weird name. this is because i have a.. its not weird. lets call it unique. i have a unique name. and while this is good (there are no other kids with the same name as you in your year so none of this putting the first letter of your last name after to distinguish you from the other kids) it also SUCKS HARD because you cant get any of the cool personalised stuff that EVERYONE ELSE HAS.
thats right. no fake number plates, no pens, no mugs, nothing. every other member of my DIRECT FAMILY (ie mum, dad, brother) have name key rings, but me?
NONE.

NOT ONLY THAT, but the kids with the wierd names ALWAYS get their names spelt wrong. i dont know how many times i've had to say, no e on the end of that, no double n I!E! not y. and then after all that effort, you get whatever your name is on/in and its spelt wrong. and some people might just deal with that and take it all in stride, but NOT ME. because im not a nice person. i want to attack those people. its more annoying when its at school and the teachers spell it wrong. i just think, you know, if i spelt something important wrong in an essay i'd get a GIANT RED CIRCLE and the correct spelling above it WRITTEN VERY DARKLY.
should i have, in my school days, handed them back whatever they had given me with my name on in with 3 e's instead of 1 with a giant red circle around it and the correct spelling written above it VERY DARKLY? or would it have been pointless and i just would have gotten detention?

my point is this: while interesting names are all well and good, think of the CHILDREN.
1. they have to be able to spell it
2. if its too weird they'll get teased.

having paid out all the weird names, i think i should probably point out that boring names can be shit to.
like, all the people with real plain names that then start spelling it different to be cool, or change it all together.
and what about all the celebrities who HAD boring names and then changed them. hmm?

so all in all, just like the title says, names suck.
generally no one is happy, unless you are named after a disney princess and then you walk around saying, yeh, im just like belle from beauty and the beast.
so yes
the name belle is flawless, and THAT will be the name of my future daughter.
possibly isabelle, because i like that name.

til next time
xx