Why would you do this, bruce?

I have some rather disturbing news

it involves Bruce the Spider. The reason the news is disturbing is because I HAVENT SEEN HIM IN AGES. where the hell has bruce gone? i just feel that me and bruce could only be friends because i knew where he was at all times and now he has MOVED?

Bruce, should you ever read this, incase you have moved to hannas room and read it over her shoulder (i'm depending on you reading this hanna, just so bruce gets this message), i've got a letter for you:

Dear Bruce,
i just want to know why you left? did i do something to offend you? i thought that we had a pretty good human - spider relationship. especially since im scared of you, and im guessing your scared of me because, it has to be said, i am bigger than you. but i left you in peace to live in my curtain, and when i cleaned my room i was going to release you into the wild. and the good wild, ie the front yard so that jane wouldnt eat you. after all the lovely things i have planned for you, you had to move so i NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU ARE and now im going to wake up in the dead of the night CONVINCED that there is a spider on my ankle, when actually it will just be the corner of my sheet. every time i see something shift in the corner i will think FUCK THERE IS A SPIDER THERE IN THE CORNER! but really it will just be a bit of scrap paper.
and, bruce, im not going to lie to you. while you were in the curtain, i had every intention of releasing you to the wild. but i cant promise you that if i see you suddenly in the corner im not going to stop myself attacking you with a shoe out of sheer fear. and im not promising you that it wont be my doc shoe, because they are the heaviest.
look bruce, im sorry our friendship had to end this way. maybe you should have just hung around in the curtain a little bit longer. you know, my dads party is next weekend, so my room DEFINITELY has to be clean by then since someone else is sleeping in there.
and my room isnt that bad. sure, sometimes i play my music a bit too loud sometimes. and i spend an unusually large amount of time in bed. i understand that right now my room is VERY MESSY. but i'll be cleaning it up soon. and there are lots of pretty posters to look at. i would have let you build a little spider web in the corner, since i'll be scraping it down in a week.
but you ruined that bruce. now thanks to you and your selfishness, i'll be living my life in FEAR of sleeping. and i have to clean under my BED just to make sure YOU ARENT HIDING THERE and come out and suprise the people staying in my bed.
look, you ruined the friendship and it can never be regained. now you are just like any other spider. if you dont scare me too much i'll put you back in the while, but know this: your life will never be as safe as it could have been. this is no threat. i just cant be held responsible for my actions should i get a fright.
i'm sorry bruce. i will remember fondly our days together.
Sincerely,
Ann-Marie

thanks, hanna, for allowing bruce to read that over your shoulder. im sure even if he doesnt, he'll get the message. possibly when i crush him with my shoe.

byee
xx